Bangalore Mediation Centre helps sparring couples reunite

Mediation centre brings sparring couples to the table, reunites 76 pairs this year Forgetting the wife's birthday led this couple in their late 20s to the family court to decide divorce terms. Riya (26), a young woman working in a private firm was married to civic engineer Raju for over a year. The two were in relationship for over three years before they exchanged vows. Soon, the honeymoon period was over and the couple began to fight over petty issues. Raju forgot his wife's birthday and this triggered a fight. One thing led to another and the couple approached a family court to seek a divorce by mutual consent.This case was referred to the Bangalore Mediation Centre (BMC) and after a few sessions, the couple sorted out their differences and decided to reunite. This is one of several cases where the BMC has triggered reunions.M Chandrasekhar Reddy, director of BMC, said, "Our job is to not to give advice or help the couple reunite. We always tell the couple that you are the masters of your problems. We bring both parties to the table and make them understand what is best for them. To choose or not to choose is completely up to them. Most couples are determined to separate. In such cases, we try to settle the alimony charges, child custody and other issues. But in some cases, their mindset is completely altered and they want to get back together."April this year, some 76 couples, on the verge of a divorce, have been reunited. This number was 112 last year. "Till last year, we did not maintain stats of reuniting couples," said Chandra-shekhar. He said there were cases where couples reunited after the sessions but returned in a few months or years seeking a divorce.In another case that was registered this year, a woman in her late 20s sought divorce due to incompatibility with her in-laws. GVP Reddy, mediator in this case, said, "The woman had often told her husband to move out from the place, but he was reluctant. Due to this friction, they had a huge fight and the husband started to suspect the wife's character and behaviour. The couple came to the court seeking divorce but with mediation by both the parties and the in-laws, they came to an understanding. The couple decided to settle on the first floor of the house and the in-laws would live on the ground floor. Now both parties are delighted."Joe Joseph, a mediator with several years of experience, reiterates, "Unlike counselling, mediation is not about giving advice. Most civic and property cases are solved within one or two sessions. Complicated marriage mediation goes up to at least four to five sessions."There were also instances where couples in their late 40s reunited as they 'have no other alternative'. In one case, a 45-year-old woman had levelled dowry and domestic violence case against her 49-year-old husband, while the real issue was suspicion of an extra-marital affair. "But the two got together again because they decided that they were already in their late 40s and would not find any new partner," said GVP Reddy. He said for some couples, children became the main reason for reunion.